Stephanie Ford • 11 min read • 12
Today’s post is by Stephanie, another Australian who’s got started learning Russian while teaching in Russia.
In this post she stocks about her experience as a female dating in Russia while learning the language. This will be an interest I have actually too much to state about really I partly credit with helping me learn the language so quickly (links to my story below) as I had a Russian girlfriend during my time in Kazan which.
Therefore it’s interesting to listen to another perspective – especially one which respects the standard values of Russian culture. ??
Russia is portrayed to your western being a cool, difficult destination with a few magical architecture, variety vodka shots, and a frontrunner whom dances with bears and whom, for many unfathomable explanation, never ever wears a top.
Individuals are portrayed into the countless US movies featuring Russians as spies or users of gangs whom continue steadily to reference one another solely as comrade (which, incidentally, is a term that came into English through the Romance languages and it is generally not very a word that is russian! Whom knew?! ).
Whilst it really is cool, vodka truly exists, and calendars featuring A putin that is shirtless and aren’t an issue, you will find a thousand misconceptions about Russian tradition and folks.
After residing here for very long sufficient to get a significant glimpse into Russian tradition, here you will find the things you to know about Russia and Russians that I want:
1. The greater amount of conventional view of females that persists in Russia comes with its perks in dating (and day-to-day life)
Before we have stuck into this time, I would like to inform you that i actually do not condone any “traditional” view of ladies which involves domestic physical violence or almost any behavior that devalues, disrespects or degrades the importance associated with the woman’s free will.
The things I do desire to state is, as a financially-independent Western girl, I ENJOY that Russian men hold doors available me off buses for me and help.
Do it is expected by me? No.
Does it enrage me personally whenever it can or does not take place? Not really.
Do i’m a flutter that is small of during my belly whenever my date does it? Without a doubt I Actually Do!
It’s a respectful motion and it implies that they’re capable of thinking about other people. If nothing else, that is definitely much better than having a person yell “nice arse” at me personally from a car or truck…
It’s a little more complicated away from the scene that is dating.
I’m grateful when a guy helps me down through the train or bus. I’m Australian and I also have always been maybe maybe maybe not yet comfortable leaping down one thing just a little higher than I’d want it become whenever my landing room is covered in snowfall and ice, so it’s truly helpful.
It’s additionally heartwarming to see males assisting females with prams, shopping bags/trolleys or other things within the stairs, BUT i am going to admit that I’m suspicious of just what my male 14-year-old pupils are around if they insist upon holding the class home available for me. ??
It is additionally just a little bewildering whenever a senior girl rejects my offer to simply help her with her shopping, and then accept the offer associated with the next moving male.
Russia isn’t an impairment place that is friendly numerous methods, therefore I do query whether these gestures that being increasingly scrutinized into the West and called down as possibly being “sexist” are borne of prerequisite and consideration, much less a direct result an even more “traditional” view of females.
The point is, once I remember the battles with the Russians jumping off their seats to assist anyone slightly worse off than themselves, I think the West could learn a thing or two that I had with lazy/tired Melbourne workers for a train seat when I had stitches in my foot and compare it.
2. The greater old-fashioned view of females that persists in Russia has its downsides in dating
Therefore, on the dating scene since I moved to Russia (pun intended), I haven’t exactly gamed the system and found perfection here whilst I love the doors that have opened for me.
There are specific objectives which come along side being a lady in Russia that we don’t fundamentally contribute to. I’m a pretty low-to-zero maintenance woman, into the feeling myself and my usual hairstyle is “yes, my hair has been washed recently enough and then left to its own devices” that I don’t spend a ton of time maintaining.
We definitely don’t appearance or scent I can probably be best described as plain like I spent the last three years living with Russian bears, but, compared to the effort put in by Russian women.
Some of my friends that are male times have actually brought this through to a wide range of occasions.
A number of the responses are innocuous:
“You don’t look or dress such as for instance a Russian”
Some are a tad bit more overt:
“Have you ever seriously considered having your teeth whitened? ”
But them all evidence that my mindset is a quirk that Russian men notice.
In Australia, ladies who cannot prepare or whom don’t simply just just take ownership of housekeeping duties aren’t likely to be ostracized these days. I’ve firsthand experience and a number of anecdotes that recommend Russian males choose ladies who will tackle these tasks with a grin.
He could be additionally significantly more than happy to use the backseat on every single other dinner and makes a show of complimenting me personally whenever we prepare.
It’s a small Pavlovian, however for now We find it cute so no damage, no foul.
Another difference that is cultural I’ve noticed is the fact that male-female friendships aren’t typical. Pupils within my classes have actually raised their eyebrows more often than once when I’ve mentioned spending some time with a friend that is male.
Navigating friendships with Russian guys is tricky because their intentions will tend to be only a little dissimilar to yours.
This undoubtedly exists within Western tradition, however the undertones take steroids in Russia, where wedding and kids are hot subjects between the moms and dads of solitary individuals in their mid-to-late twenties.